I believe in me.
I have always known that as long as I didn’t get in the way of myself, I could leave a mark in this world – a kind of huge one, because I know what God sent me here to do. He gave me this big, bleeding heart that has always been soft and yet continues to prove to be the single most powerful and undeniably strong feature about who I am and have been called to be.
It is undeniable, we are presented with opportunities to make a difference in this world every single day. Making a positive difference can be as simple as being intentional as you go through your day and even the big things can be simpler than you might think. This house took appx. 4 hours, some planks of wood, a little bit of tin and a handful of willing hearts to build and served as an answer to this family’s prayers, who in exchange, changed our lives with their story, faith and servant hearts.
Living in a social media era, there have more than a bucket load of times that I have started to really reconsider what my path should be in life. I’d throw some idea out into the world, or share something I believed in with all of my heart, just to realize nobody was listening – so I began to reconsider. I have studied social profiles and examined myself to figure out what it is that makes me easy to overlook and have considered remodeling me, to mimic somebody else’s journey plenty of times.
I wanted to change.
But oh, how the world would have missed out if I did.
My journey, the one that has felt like a bunch of dead ends, has repeatedly opened new doors. There is no denying that staying true to myself has lost me relationships and kept others from growing, and yet I can’t convince myself that my life is worse because of it. I understand why, in a parable in Matthew, we hear of a Shepard who leaves his 99 sheep to save the one who wandered away – because even just one is worth it.
I’m passionate about a lot of things, the one I speak on most often – the struggles curvy, thick, plus-sized people face. I’ve thought about losing a hundred pounds to wear brands that are currently unavailable to me and nearly jumped on about 15 different weight loss, work out/diet plan band wagons more times then I am willing to admit, but this is a really beautiful version of me that deserves to be seen. It is a battle worth fighting and a message worth sharing. A large part of my identity lies within my curves and it’s a story I don’t want to stop living. I’m going to keep sharing my story for the curvy girls who read these messages now and the ones to follow, for a more inclusive world – one with all the best clothes, an equal shot at love and adoration, and the right of being accurately represented in the world both digitally and physically.
If I could tell you anything when you face these moments, I would say somebody is always listening and they need the message you were sent to live. For that somebody – those somebodies – and for yourself, you can never stop. You can’t be anyone else but you, or atleast you shouldn’t be. You just can’t stand as tall, or walk quite as far, if you’re filling someone else’s shoes.
To a better us,
Heather Martindale
The Straight and Narrow 